A classic John Lennon Christmas song that I still hear on the radio several times every Christmas season.
In honor of the holiday season, I decided to compile a list of the things that I enjoy the most about Christmas. Also, in the interest of being fair and balanced, and to get a few things off of my chest, I will list a few things that I find somewhat annoying about this time of year. To ensure that this post will not end with me sounding like a scrooge, I will start with the negatives:
1) Christmas music saturation. As you will see shortly, I actually like a lot of the standard Christmas music. Old songs, like familiar smells, can instantly connect me to memories of Christmases past. The problem is that the Christmas season seems to get extended each year, so the songs start to play by early November. So by the time I have heard the 25th different singer break out into “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,” I have had enough.
2) Advertisements that start too early. This is closely related to the previous complaint. Since Christmas has evolved into a materialistic orgy, and the American economy cannot survive without a healthy dose of winter shopping, the holiday advertising blitz starts earlier each year. So as soon as the Halloween decorations disappear, Christmas trees pop up in department stores everywhere.
3) Taking down the decorations. This made my list for a few reasons. First, I like Christmas, so it is always depressing to see another one pass. Second, I don’t like excess work, and taking down decorations, unlike putting them up, feels like a chore. This pain was especially acute when we still got real Christmas trees. Needles would end up all over the place when you moved the thing out, and there is something inherently depressing about sticking a dead tree out on the curb. When we switched to plastic a few years ago, it made the whole process less painful. At least we know that we get to see our old friend next year. (Although I miss the smell of pine needles in the house.)
4) Stressed out people. Being a guy, I may not be qualified to make this complaint. My wife, after all, is the one who fulfills all of the duties that make our traditional Christmas possible. I still find it funny, however, when I hear people talking about how stressed out they are trying to get ready for Christmas. If the shopping, Christmas cards, cooking, decorating, parties, and all the rest of it are so stressful, then why not drop a few of these activities? There is no law than I know of commanding, “Thou shalt mail Christmas cards” or “thou shalt buy Christmas presents for every friend and relative that thou knoweth.”
5) Shopping. See explanation for “stressed out people” above. I don’t like shopping for any purpose, and gift giving, especially for adults, is the worst. If adults want something, and they have at least as much money as I – which is most Americans, by the way – then they will go out and buy it. So in some cases, what we call gift giving is merely the fulfillment of someone else’s shopping list, a glorified form of running errands for them. And if the shopper has no list to work with, then it is a crapshoot that more often than not wastes money and leads to the accumulation of excess crap in the recipient’s garage. Adults should save themselves the time and stress and limit gift giving to kids. You can’t go wrong with toys and video games.
6) People offended by anything associated with Christmas. People offended by Christmas are usually bothered by Christianity in general. Given the various ways that Christianity has been connected to some horrific events in history, including intense conflicts between Christians and followers of other religions, I can somewhat understand their feelings. It is important to recognize, however, that so much of what is currently associated with Christmas – Santa Claus, wreaths, lights, trees, gifts, even the date of the holiday – is essentially pagan or secular. If not for these non-Christian elements, Christmas would involve little more than some manger scenes, a few religious Christmas songs, and another day on the calendar where people felt obligated to go to church. Christmas is not even a big deal in the Bible. Only two of the gospels mentioned Jesus’ birth, and they can’t even get the story straight. The manger scenes that we see today are a strange amalgam of the contradictory Christmas stories told in the books of Matthew and Luke. So if the phrase “Merry Christmas” makes you cringe, you might want to consider getting over it. The person who said it might not even be a Christian anyway. And when people say “Happy Holidays,” we know what most of them probably mean.
7) People who think that only Christians have a right to celebrate the holiday. See previous item in list. Holidays take on a life of their own, and the secular/pagan traditions have as much validity as the Christian ones. Since Christianity co-opted some pagan elements when the Christmas holiday was established, Christians should not complain if non-Christian traditions often take precedence over their own.
OK, I’m glad that I got those out of my system. Truth be told, the following things that I like about Christmas far outweigh the negatives. Underneath it all, I am a sentimental old sap:
1) Decorating. I like all of the traditional Christmas decorations: lights, trees, wreaths, etc. I do admit that they can get a bit gaudy at times, but I can even live with that. I’d hate see what the electric bill must be on some of these excessively decorated homes. We never go too crazy at our house, largely because I don’t want to put in the time. The tree decorating party, however, is one of our favorite family traditions.
2) Cold weather. Like a guy complaining about shopping, many would argue that a Southern Californian has no right to say anything about cold weather. I love the feeling, however, of sitting inside nice and warm when the weather is cold, wet, and/or snowy outside. If I lived in Montana, of course, I might not be romanticizing bad weather. Of course, if a person in Montana gets tired of the cold, then maybe they should consider getting out of Montana. It’s like me, a resident of Orange County, complaining about an excessive number of Republicans, gated housing communities, breast implants, or mega-churches.
3) Vacation. Winter break is my longest extended vacation of the year. Because I work every summer, the longest continuous break that I get at that time of year is a couple of weeks. In the winter, I get at least a month off, and some of my schools have an even longer break. I like my job, but it’s always nice to recharge the batteries. After teaching for so long, I don’t know if I could ever move to a nine to five job all year round.
4) Watching kids open presents. When I was a kid, Christmas was the highlight of the year. I had a lot of sleepless, Christmas Eve nights, waiting in anticipation for what would turn up the next day. When I had no individual source of income, Christmas, along with my birthday, was the only chance to get a mess of stuff at one time. Watching my kids on Christmas morning is a great chance to relive some of that excitement.
5) Classic Christmas music. Most of my favorites are still the traditional Christian hymns and carols. I don’t believe in the literal truth of the lyrics anymore, but I still enjoy some of the general spiritual truths and desires embedded into the music. They also tap in to the sentimental side that I, as a male American, try to keep hidden most of the time.
6) Traditions. Some of the main things that my wife and I try to provide for our kids are traditions that they can fondly remember as they grow older. As I have grown older, memories closely associated with family have become the most meaningful aspects of the Christmas holiday. I could care less about getting all kinds of gifts any more, although I will take cash if anyone cares to donate to my writing fund.
7) Christmas sentiments. Songs like the John Lennon tune included in this post can sound naïve and sappy, but so what. It is highly unlikely that peace on earth will ever be fully achieved, but striving for a more peaceful world will always be a noble goal. We should strive to prevent cynicism from getting the best of us, especially around Christmas time.
Showing posts with label Culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Culture. Show all posts
A Little Thought About Judging Others
This song from my favorite Creedence Clearwater Revival album is about all of the "little people" that we tend to take for granted each day.
As I get older – and particularly since I started this writing experiment – I find myself dealing with two sets of competing thoughts and emotions. On the one hand, I seem to get less tolerant of ideas that seem so obviously irrational and stupid. Often, these ideas are rooted in tradition and/or convention, and their adherents are either unable or unwilling to ask themselves if these beliefs make any sense. They are content to just mindlessly follow their herd of choice. But on the other hand, I also find myself mellowing out a bit and becoming more tolerant of thoughts and behaviors that I do not personally believe or practice. I get frustrated with humanity a little less often than I used to, and I generally let more things slide. So which tendency is going to win?
I have heard it said that if you are torn between choosing either justice or mercy, you should err on the side of mercy. So instead of focusing on the negative aspects of a person, I try to focus on one central question: is this person doing any significant harm? It’s so easy to get caught up in judging people by rather high standards. But in a world filled with rapists, murderers, thieves, and other scumbags, it is important to commend those who avoid these blatantly evil acts. Following the laws – at least the big ones – and generally respecting the rights of others are actions that we tend to take for granted. Instead of being grateful for all of the people who leave us alone each day, we tend to notice those few who either get on our nerves or, occasionally, do us actual harm.
Now one might argue that a lot of those people who do no significant harm are also doing little that is uniquely positive and good. It is also true that many law-abiding citizens behave and think in some strange, irrational, and stupid ways. But I can try to live with those facts. Given the various forms of evil that are out there, I should be grateful to anyone who is nice enough to not intentionally harm me. And if a person actually has some moments of real goodness, that is just an added bonus. Expecting too much more of the human race will only lead to frustration, cynicism, and some long, angry blog posts.
As I get older – and particularly since I started this writing experiment – I find myself dealing with two sets of competing thoughts and emotions. On the one hand, I seem to get less tolerant of ideas that seem so obviously irrational and stupid. Often, these ideas are rooted in tradition and/or convention, and their adherents are either unable or unwilling to ask themselves if these beliefs make any sense. They are content to just mindlessly follow their herd of choice. But on the other hand, I also find myself mellowing out a bit and becoming more tolerant of thoughts and behaviors that I do not personally believe or practice. I get frustrated with humanity a little less often than I used to, and I generally let more things slide. So which tendency is going to win?
I have heard it said that if you are torn between choosing either justice or mercy, you should err on the side of mercy. So instead of focusing on the negative aspects of a person, I try to focus on one central question: is this person doing any significant harm? It’s so easy to get caught up in judging people by rather high standards. But in a world filled with rapists, murderers, thieves, and other scumbags, it is important to commend those who avoid these blatantly evil acts. Following the laws – at least the big ones – and generally respecting the rights of others are actions that we tend to take for granted. Instead of being grateful for all of the people who leave us alone each day, we tend to notice those few who either get on our nerves or, occasionally, do us actual harm.
Now one might argue that a lot of those people who do no significant harm are also doing little that is uniquely positive and good. It is also true that many law-abiding citizens behave and think in some strange, irrational, and stupid ways. But I can try to live with those facts. Given the various forms of evil that are out there, I should be grateful to anyone who is nice enough to not intentionally harm me. And if a person actually has some moments of real goodness, that is just an added bonus. Expecting too much more of the human race will only lead to frustration, cynicism, and some long, angry blog posts.
My Front "Lawn"
This little song by Pete Seeger satirized the suburban culture of tract housing communities that developed in the late 1940's and 1950's. In addition to mocking conformity, it pokes fun of our desire for status and acceptance.
The title of this post is misleading. After all, the greenish collection of plant species that covers much of our front yard does not quite qualify as a lawn. It is more of a random assemblage of weeds with some patches of grass thrown in. Now don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t look all that bad. We pay gardeners to mow the lawn once a week and to keep our flowery bushes trimmed. So as long as the weekly mowing routine has not been disrupted by rain or holidays, things look neat, trim, and somewhat green and grass-like. And so long as people only see it from a distance while driving by or pay scant attention while strolling past our home, they will not be aware of the true nature of our “lawn.” But if anyone stops and looks for some strange reason, or, heaven forbid, if guests walk onto the lawn and discover the prickly little weed balls that stick to anything that moves, then they will recognize our somewhat dried out weed farm for what it really is.
This is not entirely our fault. When we moved into the house, the plants right in front of the house were overgrown, and the previous owners had clearly done little in the way of lawn care. So we have managed to plant some new plants, keep trim the previous inhabitants, and lay out some of those brick thingies to create a separation between “lawn” and plants. But I have not been willing to pay the cost in terms of labor or money to rip out the accumulated plant life of several decades and lay down a new lawn. So I try to water two or three times a week to create the appearance of green grass, and we get a good deal paying those guys to hide the weeds by keeping them short. It could be greener, but two factors keep me from watering more often. First, there is the simple fact that I have other stuff to do, and second, I know in the back of my mind that watering only encourages further weed growth. If I know that I am not doing lawn care correctly, then why do it at all?
If a bunch of money ever comes our way for some reason, then I will immediately get someone to install both a sprinkler system and a proper front lawn. Or, if we suddenly get really rich, we could just forget the current house all together and find another one with proper grass and irrigation. This fantasy that I often indulge when standing outside with a hose, however, forces me to ask a simple question. Why the hell do I care about the appearance of my “lawn”? How will green, “weedless” grass enhance my life?
I often like to pat myself on the back for being a person who does not care about the accumulation of material things and the luxury and status that they provide. I am just so damn down-to-earth and insightful, seeing right through the American delusion that happiness comes from accumulating stuff. So obviously, my desire for a nice lawn must be my innate love of nature and appreciation for beautiful things. I just want to lay down on the soft green grass, sniff my beautifully manicured flowers, and share all of this beauty with those who are fortunate enough to either pass by or visit. The only problem with that explanation is that it is largely a bunch of crap. The simple truth is that I want to make a positive impression with my home, and much of this desire, as much as I don’t want to admit it, is rooted in a desire for status.
Whenever I visit someone who has a nicer house than ours, I feel a tinge of jealousy. This only gets worse, of course, if they have a nice flat screen, a fancy kitchen, and if the place is obnoxiously clean. I feel similar emotions when I get a taste of luxury at a fancy event or during those rare occasions when we stay in a nice hotel or go to an expensive restaurant. I can’t help thinking, “Wouldn’t it be nice to do this all of the time, and wouldn’t it be cool if there were people out there who were jealous of me?” Apparently, the score is materialistic, status-loving American culture: one, Paul Swendson: zero.
It’s all a bit pathetic. I am, after all, a person who tries to keep up on current events and who has read quite a bit of history. I am well aware of the fact that I am, by any reasonable standard, already living a life of luxury. My house has running water, electricity, air conditioning, DSL, and DirecTV, so how the hell can I be bitching about my “lawn”? Fortunately, the rational part of my mind generally wins out over that whining, emotional, jealous part. This is why I don’t become a workaholic or take drastic steps toward changing my career in an effort to make more money, indulge in luxury, and show off my success. I can’t control my irrational, competitive, self-centered emotions. But I can control my behavior and recognize these emotions for what they are.
Why do I Care About The Lakers (and Sports in General)?
This is still the catchiest sports song that I know.
Wow! Tonight’s NCAA tournament final between Duke and Butler was a hell of a game. When I feel no affiliation toward either team, I always root for the underdog. The problem with this tendency is that I am often disappointed, just as I was tonight when a Butler player’s last second prayer barely missed banking in and giving them a one-point victory. This was the only game that I watched in this year’s NCAA tournament, an annual billion-dollar event that has historically been one of the greatest in American sports. In the past, I would have watched many more.
Some of my earliest memories revolve around sports. I was dribbling and shooting a basketball on a miniature little rim before I could write. When basketball was not in season, I would shift to baseball, football, soccer, or whatever game was going on at school or in the neighborhood. Sports were always activities that came pretty naturally for me. I also have early memories of listening to Chick Hearn announce Laker games, of my parents explaining the concept of the Olympic Games, and of following baseball statistics as if they held vital information to explain the meaning of existence. I can still remember exactly where I was when some of the greatest sports moments of the last thirty-five years took place in front of me on the TV screen. Sometimes, I remember exactly when events in my life occurred by associating them with the sporting events of that time.
I still enjoy playing sports whenever I get the chance. It has become a tradition on my birthday to spend most of the day playing volleyball, softball, and sometimes soccer, for old time’s sake, at a local park. I stopped playing basketball, my first love, shortly after our first daughter was born. I badly injured my thumb for about the twentieth time in my life one day, and when I got home, I realized that I could not pick her up. After years of minor and occasionally major injuries that seemed to get more common as I aged, I decided that it was time to pick a new sport. I eventually settled on racquetball, which has proved to be much safer so far. Racquetball is also one of the greatest vehicles for stress relief known to humankind. Running around like a lunatic and wailing on a ball as hard as possible can definitely make you feel relaxed for the remainder of the day. For me, playing sports, along with listening to music, is the closest that I get to a spiritual experience. These are the two things (along with sex) that put me into a state where I am not thinking about anything else. It will be a sad day if my body eventually gives out and I can’t get around the court any more. (Of course, I can then take up golf, or maybe bowling.)
I also still enjoy watching sports, although I don’t follow them nearly as closely as I once did. I lost interest in baseball many years ago. The players seemed to change so much every year, and a few teams, who get to go out and buy the best players, seem to always win. Football is still fun, although the Rams and Raiders abandoned Los Angeles many years ago. (These days, that is definitely a blessing.) But the only sport that I really follow with any passion is my old first love, basketball, and our local powerhouse of a team, the Los Angeles Lakers. I run into a major problem, however, when I watch them, a problem that will only increase when the playoffs begin shortly. I am so emotionally attached to the outcome that I am unable to enjoy watching them. This stress that I experience makes me ask a simple question: Why do I care so much? If these guys that I have never met lose a game, will it have any measurable impact on my life? Of course, I am not alone in getting so emotionally involved in sporting events. I live in a country (and world) where people go into incredible states of ecstasy or blind rage over the results of sporting events. For many people, life would virtually end without “Sportscenter” and Fantasy Baseball. How can this behavior be explained?
The truth is that I don’t have any rational explanations for my emotions and my closely related crazy behavior. Being entertained by sports, however, makes some sense. Live sports may be the earliest example of reality TV. It has all the drama of TV shows, the movies, and literature, but the ending is not scripted. The strategies and statistics involved with sports can also be fascinating to those who understand them. This level of analysis is not much different from the type of studies done by economists, political scientists, or military historians. The players and teams can also become like characters in any play or novel, and sports fans can become as attached to the saga of their heroes as a person wrapped up in his or her mystery novel or soap opera. Any great entertainment, after all, has the power to emotionally connect with its audience.
Sports also have the power to create a tremendous sense of camaraderie. When the New Orleans Saints reached the Super Bowl this year, it was hard to root against them when you saw how passionately this battered city rallied around its team. Some saw this as a great moment of redemption for a city still struggling to recover from Katrina. Any time that you become a fan of the local team, there is a good chance that you will find many others to discuss the latest sports happenings. This is particularly helpful for men, a gender that is not known for emotionally connecting to others. We may not be able to share feelings, but we sure the hell can talk sports. I have personally experienced several moments where the shared love for a sports team has created an instant bond, if only temporarily, between total strangers and myself.
But still, caring so much about the Lakers does not make any sense. Why did I choose this particular team to care about? Is it because they happen to play their home games in the local vicinity? When they win, does it truly benefit me or my local community? Also, since the faces on the team constantly change, why do I root for people with whom I have not had the time to develop any personal “relationship.” The players that I grew up watching are long gone. They have now become coaches and announcers, and some of them are even the parents of current players. Am I really just rooting for the uniform? Last year, Ron Artest was the enemy, but now that he has changed uniforms, I find myself rooting for a guy that I was calling a punk and a thug just a few months ago. I guess that the purple and gold jersey cleanses all past sins.
I could ramble about sports for a long time and continue making fun of myself and other sports fans, but instead, I will make one last point. We human beings are not a particularly rational species. Sometimes, it is appropriate to resist our irrational natures. But there are also times when you should just allow yourself to be silly. Does it make any sense for me to care so much about the outcome of Laker games? Of course it doesn’t. The only problem is that I do care, so maybe I should stop thinking so much and allow a little irrationality in my life. As long as you maintain a certain amount of perspective, it is sometimes fun to just join the mob.
Wow! Tonight’s NCAA tournament final between Duke and Butler was a hell of a game. When I feel no affiliation toward either team, I always root for the underdog. The problem with this tendency is that I am often disappointed, just as I was tonight when a Butler player’s last second prayer barely missed banking in and giving them a one-point victory. This was the only game that I watched in this year’s NCAA tournament, an annual billion-dollar event that has historically been one of the greatest in American sports. In the past, I would have watched many more.
Some of my earliest memories revolve around sports. I was dribbling and shooting a basketball on a miniature little rim before I could write. When basketball was not in season, I would shift to baseball, football, soccer, or whatever game was going on at school or in the neighborhood. Sports were always activities that came pretty naturally for me. I also have early memories of listening to Chick Hearn announce Laker games, of my parents explaining the concept of the Olympic Games, and of following baseball statistics as if they held vital information to explain the meaning of existence. I can still remember exactly where I was when some of the greatest sports moments of the last thirty-five years took place in front of me on the TV screen. Sometimes, I remember exactly when events in my life occurred by associating them with the sporting events of that time.
I still enjoy playing sports whenever I get the chance. It has become a tradition on my birthday to spend most of the day playing volleyball, softball, and sometimes soccer, for old time’s sake, at a local park. I stopped playing basketball, my first love, shortly after our first daughter was born. I badly injured my thumb for about the twentieth time in my life one day, and when I got home, I realized that I could not pick her up. After years of minor and occasionally major injuries that seemed to get more common as I aged, I decided that it was time to pick a new sport. I eventually settled on racquetball, which has proved to be much safer so far. Racquetball is also one of the greatest vehicles for stress relief known to humankind. Running around like a lunatic and wailing on a ball as hard as possible can definitely make you feel relaxed for the remainder of the day. For me, playing sports, along with listening to music, is the closest that I get to a spiritual experience. These are the two things (along with sex) that put me into a state where I am not thinking about anything else. It will be a sad day if my body eventually gives out and I can’t get around the court any more. (Of course, I can then take up golf, or maybe bowling.)
I also still enjoy watching sports, although I don’t follow them nearly as closely as I once did. I lost interest in baseball many years ago. The players seemed to change so much every year, and a few teams, who get to go out and buy the best players, seem to always win. Football is still fun, although the Rams and Raiders abandoned Los Angeles many years ago. (These days, that is definitely a blessing.) But the only sport that I really follow with any passion is my old first love, basketball, and our local powerhouse of a team, the Los Angeles Lakers. I run into a major problem, however, when I watch them, a problem that will only increase when the playoffs begin shortly. I am so emotionally attached to the outcome that I am unable to enjoy watching them. This stress that I experience makes me ask a simple question: Why do I care so much? If these guys that I have never met lose a game, will it have any measurable impact on my life? Of course, I am not alone in getting so emotionally involved in sporting events. I live in a country (and world) where people go into incredible states of ecstasy or blind rage over the results of sporting events. For many people, life would virtually end without “Sportscenter” and Fantasy Baseball. How can this behavior be explained?
The truth is that I don’t have any rational explanations for my emotions and my closely related crazy behavior. Being entertained by sports, however, makes some sense. Live sports may be the earliest example of reality TV. It has all the drama of TV shows, the movies, and literature, but the ending is not scripted. The strategies and statistics involved with sports can also be fascinating to those who understand them. This level of analysis is not much different from the type of studies done by economists, political scientists, or military historians. The players and teams can also become like characters in any play or novel, and sports fans can become as attached to the saga of their heroes as a person wrapped up in his or her mystery novel or soap opera. Any great entertainment, after all, has the power to emotionally connect with its audience.
Sports also have the power to create a tremendous sense of camaraderie. When the New Orleans Saints reached the Super Bowl this year, it was hard to root against them when you saw how passionately this battered city rallied around its team. Some saw this as a great moment of redemption for a city still struggling to recover from Katrina. Any time that you become a fan of the local team, there is a good chance that you will find many others to discuss the latest sports happenings. This is particularly helpful for men, a gender that is not known for emotionally connecting to others. We may not be able to share feelings, but we sure the hell can talk sports. I have personally experienced several moments where the shared love for a sports team has created an instant bond, if only temporarily, between total strangers and myself.
But still, caring so much about the Lakers does not make any sense. Why did I choose this particular team to care about? Is it because they happen to play their home games in the local vicinity? When they win, does it truly benefit me or my local community? Also, since the faces on the team constantly change, why do I root for people with whom I have not had the time to develop any personal “relationship.” The players that I grew up watching are long gone. They have now become coaches and announcers, and some of them are even the parents of current players. Am I really just rooting for the uniform? Last year, Ron Artest was the enemy, but now that he has changed uniforms, I find myself rooting for a guy that I was calling a punk and a thug just a few months ago. I guess that the purple and gold jersey cleanses all past sins.
I could ramble about sports for a long time and continue making fun of myself and other sports fans, but instead, I will make one last point. We human beings are not a particularly rational species. Sometimes, it is appropriate to resist our irrational natures. But there are also times when you should just allow yourself to be silly. Does it make any sense for me to care so much about the outcome of Laker games? Of course it doesn’t. The only problem is that I do care, so maybe I should stop thinking so much and allow a little irrationality in my life. As long as you maintain a certain amount of perspective, it is sometimes fun to just join the mob.
The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and Holidays in General.
Here's a link to Stephen Colbert's web site. You will see a video of a song from his Christmas special called "Another Christmas Song."
Easter Sunday is the most important date in the Christian calendar. It celebrates the resurrection of Jesus, the central event in Christian theology. What I have always found fascinating, however, is the fact that the United States, like many other societies I imagine, devotes much more attention, energy, and money to Christmas than to Easter. This is in spite of the fact that only two gospels bother to give any details about Jesus’ birth, and the New Testament epistles never mention it at all. The resurrection, however, is central to all four gospels, and the apostle Paul and other New Testament writers discuss it repeatedly. Is the story of a baby’s birth more appealing and comfortable than a story of execution and resurrection? I am not enough of a historian, psychologist, or theologian to say for sure.
The modern American celebrations of the two holidays, however, definitely have some things in common. Both holidays involve gift giving to good (and arguably bad) children, and they usually require a certain amount of candy. Candy seems to be a common staple in American holidays: Halloween, Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving (if you count pie). The sugar industry is making a killing. Other major American holidays, however, are mainly an excuse to have a barbecue, blow things up, or go to a special three-day sale. Christmas, of course, has got it all (except the fireworks). It has the candy, one or two (or three) months of special sales, parties where people gorge themselves, and the opportunity to get the coolest gifts: toys, clothes, electronics, etc. On Easter, all you get are baskets, eggs, chocolates, jelly beans, and that plastic fake grass. It’s not bad when you are a kid, but it sure the heck isn’t Christmas.
For many kids, however, the dominant characters associated with these holidays are two mythical gift-givers: Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Now for Christmas, there is some historical and theological basis for the fat, bearded, saintly gift-giver in the red suit. In Matthew’s version of the Christmas story, three wise men show up bearing gifts of precious metals, oils, and perfume. (Today, they would have picked these up at “Nordstrom’s.” If they were cheap, they might choose “Sears.”) More generally, Jesus himself represents the gift of a savior for all humankind.
It’s harder, however, to find a theological or historical basis for the Easter Bunny. So I decided to do a rare thing for this blog: conduct some research. I turned to trusty “Google,” and punched in “History of Easter Bunny Eggs.” Many sites came up, with not all of them agreeing on the details. From what I can gather, however, both rabbits and eggs are ancient symbols of fertility. Rabbits, after all, “breed like rabbits,” and eggs, of course, give birth to new life. There is some degree of evidence indicating that rituals involving eggs were performed in pre-Christian times to coincide with the rebirth of life at the beginning of spring. Christian missionaries, as they often did, probably adopted – some would say co-opted – these traditions into the springtime celebration of the resurrection. (Even the term “Easter” seems to have pagan origins.) Evidence for bunnies appears a bit later. The first written reference to an Easter hare appeared in seventeenth century Germany. By the eighteenth century, German immigrants to the American colonies were telling their kids stories about an Easter rabbit distributing eggs to good little kids. Kids at this time were making little baskets in which the Easter bunny could place their gifts. Then, most importantly for children today, sweets in the shape of eggs and bunnies began to appear by the nineteenth century. Eggs, after all, are not the most exciting “treat” in the world for a child. (When was the last time that you saw a kid eating his or her hard-boiled, decorated egg?) But you can’t go wrong with sugar.
I don’t think that my kids have ever asked me why a rabbit – or as they get older, a strange adult – sticks candy and plastic eggs in a basket for them on something called Easter. They are just happy to get any candy that a small furry animal or large human is willing to hand them. Of course, I doubt that many adults look into the origins of the annual rituals that we call holidays. Some complain that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and other commercialized symbols and practices can snuff out the historical or sacred traditions that formed the basis for the holidays in the first place. We must remember, however, that holidays always take on a life of their own, and they are a reflection of the cultures in which they are celebrated. In some cases, holidays in ancient times were co-opted by the Christian church and given new meaning. This eventually caused many to lose sight of the original pagan symbolism associated with practices like decorating eggs or putting up Christmas trees.
The same type of thing may be occurring today. The American religion of commercialism is often able to snuff out the original meaning of the symbols that make up our holiday traditions and stories. Halloween is more about candy than confronting death as winter draws near. Thanksgiving is apparently about thanking God for turkey, football, and large balloons floating in New York City. Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to buy off your significant other with candy (of course) and flowers. Is this a bad thing? I would argue that it is the inevitable result of living in a society where commercialism and materialism have largely replaced the sacred and symbolic. Still, I love most of these holidays. They have become an integral part of the annual cycle that makes up my life, and I, like everyone else, can give these holidays whatever meaning I choose. Plus, I sometimes get some cool stuff (especially on Christmas).
Tiger Woods: What His "Fall" Can Teach Us.
This song by Jimi Hendrix kept coming to mind when writing this. Hero worship is a great example of building "Castles Made of Sand."
Tiger Woods is one of a handful of people who has been able to dominate his sport through sheer talent and/or force of personality, a list that includes larger-than-life sports figures such as Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown, and Roger Federer. Recently, however, his name has been added to a longer, less distinguished list of celebrities tarnished by scandal: OJ Simpson, Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant, Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, and the list goes on and on.
This story has offended people on multiple levels. Some are obviously offended by his infidelity. (Many men, I suspect, are actually kind of jealous.) Others are more sympathetic toward Tiger and argue that his private life should remain private. Golfing skill earned him fame and respect, not the quality of his personal life. We should continue to focus on those skills that make him great and leave the rest alone. Still others ask the question that I find to be the most interesting and important: Why do we care? There are so many things happening in the world that merit more attention than Tiger Woods’ sex life. I sympathize with this complaint, but I also think that Tiger’s story demonstrates some very important truths. Tiger’s behavior, after all, is not the story. The story is the public reaction to his behavior.
The United States may be the most celebrity-obsessed nation of all time (although this is a trait that is not exclusively American in the modern world). Because people are trained from birth to constantly need some external source of entertainment, they end up worshiping entertainers. Now worship, some might say, is too strong of a word, but I find it very appropriate. Americans on average spend far more time, energy, and money on entertainment than they do on religious activities and institutions. They can often tell you more about sports statistics and contestants on American Idol than they can tell you about the Bible, and in my mind, actions speak louder than words.
The problem, however, goes far beyond spending huge amounts of time and money on entertainment. Many Americans, from what I can tell, show as much interest in celebrities’ personal lives as they do in the entertainment that these famous people provide. And in some cases, due to our modern obsession with “reality” TV, an individual’s personal life is the entire basis of his or her fame. Personally, I try to avoid celebrity “news,” and yet I often know which famous people are currently facing marital problems, struggling with weight issues, choosing the wrong fashion designer, or struggling to get pregnant. All that I have to do is go through the checkout stand at the supermarket to get a quick update. Just the other day, I was able to find out who had the best and worst beach bodies, and while I recognize the vital importance of this issue, those were some images that I (in some cases) really did not need to see.
So where does all of this interest in the personal lives of celebrities come from? One source may be the boredom and dissatisfaction that Americans feel with their own lives. By obsessing about celebrities, they get a chance to live vicariously through someone more beautiful and talented. In other cases, the problems celebrities face may actually cause average Americans to feel better about their lives. We may face marital problems, but at least we are not Tiger Woods. Of course, we may also be a society that is always on the lookout for idols and heroes. In an entertainment-crazed culture, this search naturally draws us to people with musical, acting, or athletic skills. But we want more. We want a human being that we can admire, so we are then unable to resist the desire to find out who this person is that entertains us so well. Unfortunately, idol worship directed toward entertainers will often lead to disappointment, and when it does, we make those celebrities pay in the tabloid press.
In addition to the tabloids and the public, certain companies have also decided to punish Tiger Woods. I remember seeing a chart in a newspaper once that showed the highest paid athletes in the world, and Tiger Woods topped the list to the tune of approximately $100 million in a single year. He made a lot of money winning golf tournaments, but it mostly came from advertising dollars. So why do advertisers dish out that kind of money to a guy who is not necessarily an authority on many of the products – watches, razors, cars, etc. – that he endorses? Part of the answer goes back to the celebrity worship mentioned earlier. I also believe, however, that famous people endorsing products, and advertising in general, is clear proof that the human race is not particularly rational. Because Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan is paid to tell us to buy something, does this improve the quality of the product? I hope that we will all answer no, and yet companies keep shelling out the big bucks. Are they that stupid? I doubt it. The truth is that we are apparently that stupid. Advertising does not appeal to human reason. It appeals to subconscious desires. So apparently, on some subconscious level, we believe that buying a Buick or wearing Hanes Underwear will improve our golf game or make us dunk like Michael Jordan. Celebrities project an image which appeals to our subconscious desire to be successful “like Mike.” This is why Tiger has been losing some endorsement deals. Tiger Woods’ appeal to consumers was not simply his golf game; it was also the positive, “family values” image that he projected. Kobe Bryant ran into the same problem a few years ago when he had his own sex scandal. Kobe has shown, however, that you can eventually earn some of that reputation back. Will Tiger someday do the same?
Finally, in fairness to Tiger Woods, Magic Johnson, Kobe Bryant, Bill Clinton, Jonathan Edwards, and countless other famous, powerful men who have been unable to resist “temptation” at some point in their lives, it is important to note that these celebrities have opportunities that few men (or women) can ever fully comprehend. It is easy to be faithful when opportunities to cheat are not falling into your lap (pun intended). But if you are famous in a world of people who find fame irresistible, it can be difficult to keep “fighting them off.” To paraphrase Henry Kissinger – a guy who claimed to get a lot of sex – “power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” Ultimately, we humans are the same as all other animals, who are driven by the primal desire to get basic things like food and sex. The desire for lots of sex, in the end (no pun intended), may be one of the biggest reasons why people want to be famous in the first place. One of the biggest costs of this fame, however, is the privacy that Tiger Woods keeps requesting from the public. Privacy, however, is one thing that he gave up a long time ago and will never fully get back.
Gay Marriage: Why It's Fine With Me
In recent years, gay marriage has been one of the most contentious and emotionally charged issues in the United States. I had some reservations about addressing this issue because I know that many people have a problem with my point of view. Then again, the controversy makes addressing this issue irresistible. If nothing else, writing about something that many people are passionate about can attract potential readers, and bad press is better than no press. As always, I encourage comments and feedback, particularly from people who can point out things that I left out or who can show me where I have gone wrong. But be respectful, please. If you can’t back up your opinions with a rational argument, it is probably best to keep them to yourself. Also, refrain from quotations from any scriptures. The last time I checked, our country still had the separation of church and state. Scriptural references, therefore, are irrelevant when discussing this legal issue.
I am going to address this issue a little differently than normal. I have made a list in no particular order of the arguments that I have heard against the legalization of gay marriage. Then I will attempt to refute each argument.
1) If gay marriage is made legal, it will open the door for other types of non-traditional marriage. People might want to marry their pets and farm animals, and polygamy could potentially make a comeback. First of all, the argument that people will marry animals is stupid, and it embarrasses the people who make it. As far as I know, no one has learned to speak dog, cat, or horse language. (Although we can train them to obey simple commands.) Marriage, by definition, is a contract involving two consenting adults. So if we can’t speak animal language, it is difficult to determine if the animal has given consent. And because it is a bitch to pick up a pen with a paw or a hoof, it is impractical to get written consent from them either. Even if we could understand their wishes, I doubt that animals comprehend the concept of marriage. I suspect that we will never know. Now the polygamy argument is more plausible. Polygamy has been common throughout history and still exists in a semi-underground fashion in the United States. Personally, I don’t have a big problem with polygamy. I would not recommend entering into this type of arrangement, but if other people make this choice, it has no effect on me. At least it is honest. Large numbers of Americans have multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, and in most cases this is done secretly. It’s difficult to argue that polygamy is somehow more immoral than cheating or adultery. Now allowing polygamy could raise some tricky questions involving child custody, tax breaks, medical insurance, inheritance, and many other issues, but these questions can be tricky now with our heterosexual monogamy system. Adapting the rules to polygamous marriage might force us to ask ourselves if the current rules and regulations surrounding marriage make any sense. (In particular, it could be another reason to change a medical system in which it is so difficult for many to get affordable insurance.) And finally, attempts to marry animals or to have multiple spouses could occur whether gay marriage is implemented or not.
2) If gay marriage becomes legal, it will be the strongest sign yet that homosexual behavior, something that many Americans consider immoral, has become acceptable. People who disapprove of homosexuality should not be forced to accept it as normal. I agree somewhat with this argument. The acceptance of gay marriage would represent a major cultural shift in our country. The only question, I guess, is whether or not this is a positive thing. No one, however, is going to be forced into thinking that homosexuality is OK. There are lots of perfectly legal behaviors that people have the right to openly criticize: heavy drinking, extramarital sex, gambling, and the list goes on and on. You do not, however, have the right to abuse or discriminate against people who have a lifestyle that you do not like. You will also run into trouble if you try to turn your personal code of ethics into a legal code. It is impossible to legally ban all of the things that you are personally against. If the Ten Commandments were ever turned into a legal code, all of us would be fined or in jail – or in the Old Testament, stoned – fairly quickly, and many members of Congress would be put away first. Can you imagine if adultery was illegal? What if you could arrest or sue someone for coveting your wife, dishonoring his or her parents, or doing some work on the Sabbath day. The only commandments that can be practically enforced as laws are those against killing and stealing, and I think that we can all agree that physically harming someone or stealing his or her stuff does more damage than performing a gay marriage in front of that person. We are all forced to put up with some behaviors that we find offensive. The basic rule in our country is that people have the right to engage in behaviors that do not infringe on the rights of others. Try as I might, I cannot think of any way that other people entering into a gay marriage takes away my rights. The Constitution, as far as I know, does not say that we have the right to never be offended. Interracial marriage used to offend people and was illegal in many states until shortly after the Civil Rights Movement. Forty years ago, my marriage would have been illegal in certain parts of the country. Heaven forbid that people as dangerous and immoral as my wife and I should have the opportunity to offend anyone!
3) If gay marriage becomes legal, schools will be forced to teach children that it is OK. This is a classic scare tactic, similar to Sarah Palin’s “death panels.” I went to school for many years, and I don’t remember anyone teaching me lessons about proper marriages. Schools may have the opportunity someday to tell kids that gay marriage exists and is legal. Schools may also promote tolerance, teaching that all people regardless of race, religion, color, or sexual persuasion deserve to be treated with respect. Does this mean that schools are teaching that gay marriage and homosexuality in general are morally acceptable? Not necessarily. They are just pointing out that these behaviors exist and that you should not be mean to gay people. How could anyone have a problem with that? I doubt that there are many kids who get their morals from schools anyway.
4) If gay marriage becomes legal, it will be easier for homosexual couples to adopt and raise children (or to have kids through surrogates, artificial insemination, etc.) If kids are raised by gay parents, it will do them (the kids) psychological harm. I am unaware of any hard evidence that proves that children raised by gay couples are psychologically damaged. (If you really want to, you can probably make “scientific” data say anything.) If kids are harmed, the damage probably comes from individuals who criticize or make fun of their parents and not from the parents themselves. In this case, it is society that has the problem. Yet, if you could somehow show that it is bad for children to be raised by anyone other than a married man and woman, gay parents are hardly your biggest problem. Huge numbers of children are currently being raised by parents who are living in equally “immoral” circumstances. Divorced parents, single parents living with significant others, and gay, unmarried parents could all be labeled “undesirable.” Should we take actions to prevent these parents from “damaging” their kids?
5) Gay marriage threatens America’s traditional, Judeo-Christian concept of marriage. It will degrade the institution of marriage for everyone.
6) If gay marriage becomes acceptable, churches and religious organizations will be forced to go against their religious doctrines and bestow the sacrament of marriage on homosexuals.
7) Gay marriage is unnecessary. Most (if not all) states have other types of legal contracts that can provide gay couples with all of the benefits that married couples receive.
I am going to deal with arguments 5-7 together. They all come down to the same central issue. Often, when people argue against gay marriage, they are using the term marriage differently than the state does. For many, marriage is primarily a sacrament, a sacred union blessed by God and performed by some sort of a religious minister. In a country where you can get married by a judge or by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas, it does not take long to figure out that the United States does not view marriage as a religious sacrament. According to the state, marriage is a legal contract that has implications for childcare, property sharing, medical insurance, hospital visitation rights, and many other issues. People who say that they are fine with “civil unions” but offended by “gay marriage” do not seem to understand that the state defines them as being essentially the same. Churches and religious institutions, therefore, are not required to perform a marriage ceremony for anyone. I know from personal experience that the Catholic Church has a policy against marrying two non-Catholics or marrying someone who has been divorced. (They require that the divorced participant(s) get an annulment.) As far as I know, no one is suing the Catholic Church for these policies. The state, after all, has no jurisdiction over religious ceremonies. If the church refuses to perform the ceremony, this will do nothing to stop the individuals from marrying. So when people worry about the marriage institution being somehow degraded, their fears are misguided. In a sense, the institution is already degraded. Lots of heterosexual couples have married without seeking any blessing from God. Las Vegas, in particular, degrades the institution every day. Should we ban the Vegas style fifteen-minute wedding?
The most important question that I ask myself is why this issue gets so much attention. In my view, this issue has consistently been used as a smokescreen, a distraction from the issues that actually impact people’s lives: health care, business regulations, entitlement reform, defense spending, etc. The problem with the issues that really matter is that they are complicated, and they often force people to think about details that require a great deal of time, patience, and attention span. Gay marriage seems simple. You are either for it or against it. It also appeals, particularly for its opponents, to emotional, gut-level feelings of right and wrong. Politicians may be many things, but they are not dumb. They recognize an opportunity to emotionally manipulate voters when they see it, and there is no emotion easier to manipulate than fear, the most important emotion in politics. When you go through the arguments against gay marriage, many are rooted in fear.
To many opponents of gay marriage, this issue represents a major front in the “culture war,” a somewhat mythical battle between people who uphold conservative, “family values” and secular liberals pushing, among other things, the “gay agenda.” They seem to think that if they elect politicians who believe in traditional family values, then America itself will have better values. I don’t know about you, but I don’t get my values from politicians. Anyone who puts their hope for family values into the hands of politicians is bound to be disappointed. Whenever you hear about a sex scandal involving a politician, more often than not it is the story of a “family values” conservative who sought out gay men in restrooms or liked to visit his mistress in Argentina. I don’t care about politicians’ supposed, self-proclaimed values; I care about his positions on the issues that actually affect me. If people want the values of Americans to improve, and if they want to protect marriage, they should focus on improving their own marriages and on living up to the values that they claim to believe. Maybe then they will have less time and energy to spend butting in on other people’s personal lives.
I am going to address this issue a little differently than normal. I have made a list in no particular order of the arguments that I have heard against the legalization of gay marriage. Then I will attempt to refute each argument.
1) If gay marriage is made legal, it will open the door for other types of non-traditional marriage. People might want to marry their pets and farm animals, and polygamy could potentially make a comeback. First of all, the argument that people will marry animals is stupid, and it embarrasses the people who make it. As far as I know, no one has learned to speak dog, cat, or horse language. (Although we can train them to obey simple commands.) Marriage, by definition, is a contract involving two consenting adults. So if we can’t speak animal language, it is difficult to determine if the animal has given consent. And because it is a bitch to pick up a pen with a paw or a hoof, it is impractical to get written consent from them either. Even if we could understand their wishes, I doubt that animals comprehend the concept of marriage. I suspect that we will never know. Now the polygamy argument is more plausible. Polygamy has been common throughout history and still exists in a semi-underground fashion in the United States. Personally, I don’t have a big problem with polygamy. I would not recommend entering into this type of arrangement, but if other people make this choice, it has no effect on me. At least it is honest. Large numbers of Americans have multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, and in most cases this is done secretly. It’s difficult to argue that polygamy is somehow more immoral than cheating or adultery. Now allowing polygamy could raise some tricky questions involving child custody, tax breaks, medical insurance, inheritance, and many other issues, but these questions can be tricky now with our heterosexual monogamy system. Adapting the rules to polygamous marriage might force us to ask ourselves if the current rules and regulations surrounding marriage make any sense. (In particular, it could be another reason to change a medical system in which it is so difficult for many to get affordable insurance.) And finally, attempts to marry animals or to have multiple spouses could occur whether gay marriage is implemented or not.
2) If gay marriage becomes legal, it will be the strongest sign yet that homosexual behavior, something that many Americans consider immoral, has become acceptable. People who disapprove of homosexuality should not be forced to accept it as normal. I agree somewhat with this argument. The acceptance of gay marriage would represent a major cultural shift in our country. The only question, I guess, is whether or not this is a positive thing. No one, however, is going to be forced into thinking that homosexuality is OK. There are lots of perfectly legal behaviors that people have the right to openly criticize: heavy drinking, extramarital sex, gambling, and the list goes on and on. You do not, however, have the right to abuse or discriminate against people who have a lifestyle that you do not like. You will also run into trouble if you try to turn your personal code of ethics into a legal code. It is impossible to legally ban all of the things that you are personally against. If the Ten Commandments were ever turned into a legal code, all of us would be fined or in jail – or in the Old Testament, stoned – fairly quickly, and many members of Congress would be put away first. Can you imagine if adultery was illegal? What if you could arrest or sue someone for coveting your wife, dishonoring his or her parents, or doing some work on the Sabbath day. The only commandments that can be practically enforced as laws are those against killing and stealing, and I think that we can all agree that physically harming someone or stealing his or her stuff does more damage than performing a gay marriage in front of that person. We are all forced to put up with some behaviors that we find offensive. The basic rule in our country is that people have the right to engage in behaviors that do not infringe on the rights of others. Try as I might, I cannot think of any way that other people entering into a gay marriage takes away my rights. The Constitution, as far as I know, does not say that we have the right to never be offended. Interracial marriage used to offend people and was illegal in many states until shortly after the Civil Rights Movement. Forty years ago, my marriage would have been illegal in certain parts of the country. Heaven forbid that people as dangerous and immoral as my wife and I should have the opportunity to offend anyone!
3) If gay marriage becomes legal, schools will be forced to teach children that it is OK. This is a classic scare tactic, similar to Sarah Palin’s “death panels.” I went to school for many years, and I don’t remember anyone teaching me lessons about proper marriages. Schools may have the opportunity someday to tell kids that gay marriage exists and is legal. Schools may also promote tolerance, teaching that all people regardless of race, religion, color, or sexual persuasion deserve to be treated with respect. Does this mean that schools are teaching that gay marriage and homosexuality in general are morally acceptable? Not necessarily. They are just pointing out that these behaviors exist and that you should not be mean to gay people. How could anyone have a problem with that? I doubt that there are many kids who get their morals from schools anyway.
4) If gay marriage becomes legal, it will be easier for homosexual couples to adopt and raise children (or to have kids through surrogates, artificial insemination, etc.) If kids are raised by gay parents, it will do them (the kids) psychological harm. I am unaware of any hard evidence that proves that children raised by gay couples are psychologically damaged. (If you really want to, you can probably make “scientific” data say anything.) If kids are harmed, the damage probably comes from individuals who criticize or make fun of their parents and not from the parents themselves. In this case, it is society that has the problem. Yet, if you could somehow show that it is bad for children to be raised by anyone other than a married man and woman, gay parents are hardly your biggest problem. Huge numbers of children are currently being raised by parents who are living in equally “immoral” circumstances. Divorced parents, single parents living with significant others, and gay, unmarried parents could all be labeled “undesirable.” Should we take actions to prevent these parents from “damaging” their kids?
5) Gay marriage threatens America’s traditional, Judeo-Christian concept of marriage. It will degrade the institution of marriage for everyone.
6) If gay marriage becomes acceptable, churches and religious organizations will be forced to go against their religious doctrines and bestow the sacrament of marriage on homosexuals.
7) Gay marriage is unnecessary. Most (if not all) states have other types of legal contracts that can provide gay couples with all of the benefits that married couples receive.
I am going to deal with arguments 5-7 together. They all come down to the same central issue. Often, when people argue against gay marriage, they are using the term marriage differently than the state does. For many, marriage is primarily a sacrament, a sacred union blessed by God and performed by some sort of a religious minister. In a country where you can get married by a judge or by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas, it does not take long to figure out that the United States does not view marriage as a religious sacrament. According to the state, marriage is a legal contract that has implications for childcare, property sharing, medical insurance, hospital visitation rights, and many other issues. People who say that they are fine with “civil unions” but offended by “gay marriage” do not seem to understand that the state defines them as being essentially the same. Churches and religious institutions, therefore, are not required to perform a marriage ceremony for anyone. I know from personal experience that the Catholic Church has a policy against marrying two non-Catholics or marrying someone who has been divorced. (They require that the divorced participant(s) get an annulment.) As far as I know, no one is suing the Catholic Church for these policies. The state, after all, has no jurisdiction over religious ceremonies. If the church refuses to perform the ceremony, this will do nothing to stop the individuals from marrying. So when people worry about the marriage institution being somehow degraded, their fears are misguided. In a sense, the institution is already degraded. Lots of heterosexual couples have married without seeking any blessing from God. Las Vegas, in particular, degrades the institution every day. Should we ban the Vegas style fifteen-minute wedding?
The most important question that I ask myself is why this issue gets so much attention. In my view, this issue has consistently been used as a smokescreen, a distraction from the issues that actually impact people’s lives: health care, business regulations, entitlement reform, defense spending, etc. The problem with the issues that really matter is that they are complicated, and they often force people to think about details that require a great deal of time, patience, and attention span. Gay marriage seems simple. You are either for it or against it. It also appeals, particularly for its opponents, to emotional, gut-level feelings of right and wrong. Politicians may be many things, but they are not dumb. They recognize an opportunity to emotionally manipulate voters when they see it, and there is no emotion easier to manipulate than fear, the most important emotion in politics. When you go through the arguments against gay marriage, many are rooted in fear.
To many opponents of gay marriage, this issue represents a major front in the “culture war,” a somewhat mythical battle between people who uphold conservative, “family values” and secular liberals pushing, among other things, the “gay agenda.” They seem to think that if they elect politicians who believe in traditional family values, then America itself will have better values. I don’t know about you, but I don’t get my values from politicians. Anyone who puts their hope for family values into the hands of politicians is bound to be disappointed. Whenever you hear about a sex scandal involving a politician, more often than not it is the story of a “family values” conservative who sought out gay men in restrooms or liked to visit his mistress in Argentina. I don’t care about politicians’ supposed, self-proclaimed values; I care about his positions on the issues that actually affect me. If people want the values of Americans to improve, and if they want to protect marriage, they should focus on improving their own marriages and on living up to the values that they claim to believe. Maybe then they will have less time and energy to spend butting in on other people’s personal lives.
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